Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
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