What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
