id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
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