I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
