she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
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