Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Randomize
