You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
