You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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