She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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