Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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