how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
