Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
