just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
she woke up with a sticky ear
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
