shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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