I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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