Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
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