Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
