I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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