Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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