great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
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He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
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I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
jump out the window naked night went bad
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