smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight