i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days