Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I believe in your delicious