Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend