I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.