Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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