so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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