i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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