I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
