he told me I talked like a deaf person
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
