Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
my poor anus
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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