dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
