How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Randomize