well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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