Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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