Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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