It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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