Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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