The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
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If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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