May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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