i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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