dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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