My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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