And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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