Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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