trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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