i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
