She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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