I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
