Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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