I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Where is the hickey?
I cockslap morals
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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