So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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