hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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