Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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