are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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