No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
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