went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Randomize