anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize