He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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