the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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