I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
