i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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