I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
