It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
