She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
