Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
two words: eviction party
She even gives head with a lisp.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Randomize
