yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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