doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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