I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
