I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Randomize
