i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
