It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
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there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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