when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
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