don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
