More tranny stories later!
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
